I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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