also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
