I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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