Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm like, not good at living.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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