Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
