WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
