question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
