party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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