I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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