I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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