you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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