I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
