so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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