He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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