Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There r osticjed everywhere
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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