Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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