what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
