I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
