so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
