oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
