i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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