Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
