i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is my gift to your gina
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
