Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
