1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
