nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
