Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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