i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
