forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
