you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
