erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize