id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
