just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
