You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
