I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she told me i tasted like america
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
