i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
