i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
