i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
