I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
