I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
