I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
