ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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