Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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