I can tuck mytits in my pants
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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