You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
