I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
