Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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