I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize