What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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