yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
