btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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