Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We are two peas in an std pod
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
