i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize