haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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