Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want to make out with him forever
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
