Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize