I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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