talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
